Let's Hear it for New York!!!!!

There is something about being from a big city that has a small town vibe.....something that you have to experience first hand to understand. Today I attended a Memorial Service for an old friend who made his transition a few days ago. This man went by many names...New York to some....I simply called him by his gov'ment....Chad. Like many from around my way, Chad was a complicated individual....so much more than met the eye. What I remember most about Chad was his smile and those beautiful eyes. The way that his big arms would engulf you with his hugs, even when he was trying to be gentle and not too rough. I remember talking on the phone with Chad when we were in the 9th grade....laughing and talking about nothing really...back in the day before lives got complicated and all we wanted to do was hang out and have fun. I remember Chad letting his dogs loose to chase my friends down the street, just because. Looking back, he had to have known (intuitively) that the dogs would not bite....that my friends would not get hurt. He always seemed to have that sense about him, a knowing if you will.

I remember his transition from Chad to New York, where he began to earn the dubious distinction of being on of the most revered (okay, feared) men in this city and the surrounding areas. I remember when I heard he was boxing professionally and how I cheered on the inside because he would be fighting safely, in a structured setting, with rules. You see that's the thing about my big city/small town...we root for one another, always have. We root that you will not go to jail, that you will get out soon or that you will go to college and that you will go on to make us all proud. Growing up in a place like this makes you root for the underdog because deep down, we realize that we are rooting for ourselves.

I have not seen Chad in a while, but sitting at his Memorial Service today...with hundreds of my other small town/big city folk....I remembered something that I once seemed to know so well, so intuitively...that core belief that there is no distinction between me and them. He is I and I am him. I am connected to each and every struggle, each and every hardship, each and every victory......in so many ways watching these experiences, living these experiences has made me who I am.

You see, in my small town, big city...we also look out for one another. We take care of one another...we really love one another the best way we know how. Not that there is never beef and not that its all good all the time. That being said, I have watched age and maturity work their magic on many of us. When I looked around today I saw professionals who took time out of their day to come and pay respect to one whom some might judge as having been of ill repute, I saw thorough ass dudes break down in public, professing their love for one of their fallen soldiers, I saw people who looked like they had seen better days get themselves together as best they could to get there and show love.....all for the same person. This afternoon.....I saw my people in all their glorious complexities, shapes, sized and contradictions.....yep, I saw them all and in doing so......I saw me.

So, at this time I want to send all my love to Chad's family, especially his brother L.B. I vividly remember my own mother's services when I looked up and through a sheet of tears, I saw L.B. (aka Father, aka PH.....damn near everyone in my big city/small town has at least three different names) standing so tall, dressed so well and showering me with all the love and support his heart could hold. He was there, he took time out for me showing me that special kind of New Brunswick love that only the home grown can understand. I pray that the overwhelming display of love shown today will serve as a source of strength and comfort to all of Chad's family in the days, weeks and months to come.

Chad, I pray that you will have a peaceful journey and that God will be pleased with your soul. I do what I do because of people like you that I have grown up with who have shown me that roses do indeed grow from concrete. People who have allowed me to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is not okay to judge a book by its cover and oh, what a marvelous story you might miss if you do. I love you Chad.....God Bless your life.