Can you keep a secret?

Much to my surprise, it seems that the good people at my job actually respect me. Hell, I would even go so far as to say that some of them even like me. I find this amazing considering that I am- on the outside- so foreign to so many of them. The way I look, the way I dress, the food I eat, the way I speak (you know I speak "so well" according to them). The other day I showed up to my office full of school administrators and highly conservative folk rockin' my latest hairdo- a curly quasi Mohawk. (Only the women at work are usually brave enough to outwardly inquire about my the mechanisms of my myriad hairdo's.)

At work, I am pretty low key. In fact, I make it a point to try to kind of keep to myself. I don't get involved in office politics, water cooler gossip and stay as far away from the teacher's lounges as possible. I just come in, do what I have to do, and bounce. Perhaps that is part of my allure....my draw if you will. I tell as little of my own story as possible and listen-seemingly attentively- to coworkers as they share more than enough of their own with me.

Maybe it is just me, but it seems that more often than not people at work are coming to me with something that they feel a burning need to share with someone they trust....Me. I mean from school principals to secretaries to janitors- they will seek me out. Quite often I wonder, "Why me? Don't ya'll have any friends or somebody else to talk to?" But alas, I guess they don't. Or maybe it's that they can't trust the people they call friends bc they know they will be in the teacher's lounge the next day telling all the business.

I have been told that I am easy to talk to, that I have a welcoming personality and that I seem trustworthy. The sad reality is that I am still half asleep before 9:00 a.m, and forgetful as hell all day long thereafter. Add to that the fact that my brain is too busy processing ALL sides of any given scenario as it is being presented to me to offer criticism at that moment.

In a nutshell, I think folks at work have confused my constant state of confusion for caring and my tendency to be internally distracted for good listening skills. I can sit four hours zoned completely out- thinking about various sundry things-all the while appearing to be listening attentively. Throw in a few " is that so's" and " wow, that is something" and I got em fooled into believing they actually have my attention. Trickery? Maybe, but mind you, I don't seek these people out- they do the seeking.

I sometimes wonder when they are gonna find me out- these trusting souls with whom I work. I save my good listening ears for the people who really need me, my real friends, family, students with whom I work and their families. My needy ass co-workers get what's left and unfortunately that usually ain't much.

Signed,

she who keeps secrets cause she is senile!